In our world of fast food, Twitter messages of 140 characters, high speed Internet connections, everything in our lives available "on demand" we seek instant gratification in all things. Our relationships are no different, we seek the magic bullet or the simple little pill to swallow to make our troubles go away and our relationships successful.
There really is a secret to loving well and having a successful relationship. It's not about you. Take a step away from your current relationship and ponder for a moment. Who is being served in your relationship? Are you waiting for your partner to step up and answer to your needs and demands, meanwhile withholding your love and affection until they do?
It comes back to the same problem time and time again. Marriage and relationships are not based on meeting your partner half way, each giving as little as possible to get what they desire in return. Scores are kept and the focus is on meeting personal needs and loving your partner equally in return, sometimes one gesture at a time.
Successful relationships require both partners to give completely of themselves first. It's not about you, it is about serving each other and honoring each other. Try it for a day or two and watch what happens in your relationship. Without asking for anything from your partner simply do your best to try to anticipate and fulfill their needs. Most likely your partner will begin to reciprocate without even realizing they are doing so.
This is a turning point in many relationships. Over time it becomes easier to serve each other and once on this path it is more comfortable to openly discuss what you are both able and willing to do to please each other.
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